The theories of love are probably too difficult especially when it comes to relationship or I am just that dumb. People make it seems like a perfect eye that sees or knows no blemish. Some had it divided into parts; they will speak of love and specify ‘true love’. There is that type that isn’t true right? But in all these classes or types as you may want to call it, love seems like the glamorized end result of a selfish process. At least in my opinion though.
Have you noticed how there are certain criteria/factors/specifications to be met before the falling in love process actually begins? Our exposure, environment, social status, communal experiences, etc seems to be the hinges on which love swings. It is common to hear ladies speak of “Tall, Dark and Handsome”. I didn’t realize how real it was until I heard a lady describe my friend who was wooing her in that term to her friends. I could see how their eyes shine as they giggle in admiration. Height/complexion/socio-economic status/religion/tribe/personality/physical appearance, etc are qualities we consciously or subconsciously tick before the love comes in.
Discussing with a friend on the kind of girl we would want to date, it all suddenly feels like going to buy a computer or phone; checking the specifications to match our requirement. These specifications having been engraved in our minds, we hardly do the sorting consciously which makes it all very instinctual. My friendship with a class of people hardly get past just friendship, my subconscious does makes sure of that. I asked a girl what she considers before heading towards relationship zone. Her response was “is it dating for fun or marriage?” she explains that even under both levels, it’s about the benefits. “He should be responsible; even if he doesn’t have huge amount of money, he must be able to care for me” she said. When it comes down to serious relationship, even philanders, cheats who sometimes are carefree about taste/specification draw out the very complex list of criteria. We all have the specification factor.
Reading a lady’s tweet saying “I don’t want a broke man” and the responses that follow, I honestly wonder (taking into consideration whatever type you believe exist) if love isn’t truly “a glamorized end result of selfish process”.
P.S: I appreciate those I asked questions from, thanks. Kindly post your specification/taste (whatever you term it) when your comment.
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Discussion1 Comment
I believe everyone knows the premise (love) on which this write-up is based is more imaginary than real except those who prefer to 'lie' in the very comfortable bed of deception which reminds me of a question i raised a few days back..'who would worship God if there was no promise of a 'paradise?'..to which everyone present answered in the negative.I guess that even rules out the pure 'agape' love as unselfish.P.S as for my 'specs'..i'm still yet to settle on one..and i've been told time again that my standards are too 'high!'s based is more imaginary than real except those who prefer to 'lie' in the very comfortable bed of deception which reminds me of a question i raised a few days back..'who would worship God if there was no promise of a 'paradise?'..to which everyone present answered in the negative.I guess that even rules out the pure 'agape' love as unselfish.P.S as for my 'specs'..i'm still yet to settle on one..and i've been told time again that my standards are too 'high!'