You Go Blow Or Nah?

Scientists believe till date that we came with a bang (No pun intended). That an explosion of great magnitude brought about all life. The opposing theory presupposes that we were made from dust and that as a result unto dust we shall return (Cinis ad cinerem pulvis ad pulverem). Ahh! I love how Latin makes one oh-so learned!

In furtherance, humans have indeed been going out with a bang, at least modern man with all his new toys and what-not. Ancient man was a little handicapped in that regard, settling for cremation instead.

Now it becomes interesting when the latter is aligned with the former theory which assumes we came with a bang. Traditionally – Pardon me, wrong word. Logically*, on transit to becoming ashes we could actually go with a bang, couldn't we?

Now considering that the coming and going big bang theory has been somewhat shakily established, was science right after all? Don’t call me Galileo yet, proving Science right over established religious views wasn’t the plan of this piece.

Really, I would not delude myself into believing I have the littlest inkling as to which neurons supply what impulses to which brainwave in the cerebral recesses of a Suicide-bomber's mind. No I will not be deluded.

I have often been present in gatherings where someone just subconsciously thinks aloud “How can a full-grown educated (sometimes not) rational-thinking individual just go and blow himself up?” We/I usually didn’t make much of such comments in the past, often waving it off as something only a crazy, dare-devil Middle-Eastern, and close to Middle-Eastern African would do. “Nigerians too like life even if dem dey suffer, dem no wan die” We’d say and then laugh it off.

Nigerian suicide-bombing incidents involving Nigerians in the recent past have stifled that laugh. No one jokes it away anymore. 'It hath real become, brethren'. However, the initial premise remains “How can a full-grown educated (sometimes not) rational-thinking individual just go and blow himself up?”

A lot of explanations have been offered by experts. Constant among the causes offered is the act of brainwashing/hypnosis as well as promises of earthly and heavenly rewards.

I write ‘promises’ because a suicide-bomber cannot directly enjoy earthly rewards once he’s gone neither is he sure of getting heavenly rewards guaranteed by someone he’s left behind on Earth (I stand to be corrected). This same doubt I have of getting returns on such a fatal engagement is shared by many. The subject of 77 virgins (or is it 70?) is oftentimes laughed off in discussions.

However, let us all take pause (this bit is for men, apologies to whomever chooses to take offence) and rethink or practicalise role reversal. In other words, step into the shoes of an intern suicide-bomber (Uncomfortable shoes, yes. But let’s just endure for the love of science). Let’s believe for a second that the 77 virgins are actually waiting; with long, silky, natural Indian hair and naked bodies constantly scented in olive fragrances, with regenerative pussies; that, you know, tightens back after the act. All 77 at your beck and call for the rest of time just for a split-second hara-kiri you were asked to do.

photocredit: Joe Monster 

You go blow or nah?

Please, your ayes or nays are needed in the comments section.