Mama did not joke with God and wanted you, her children not to ever joke with God. There was a day the twins were fighting and the bitter one, Michael told Micah, the stronger one. “God punish you. Ogun go fuck you”. You saw how mama flew into a righteous fit. How could a sinner ask for the punishment of another sinner and place the Most High God side by side with a lesser god? Not to even mention the use of the dirty word ‘fuck’ around God’s name. You looked on as Mama asked him to ask for forgiveness and say God won’t punish Micah because the voice of man is the voice of God. Micah kept mute even as Mama’s holy punches panel-beated his seven year old body to a soft pulp. Blood seeped out of his broken skin and atoned for his sin that Mama later said she was sure God thought to himself.
“This is my prodigal son in whom I’m well pleased”. You remember that evening everyone in the compound came out of their rooms to sit outside and Uche, the compound’s playboy entertained you people with how he had a quickie, when he least expected it, with one of the female members of that denomination that believes in Jehovah who came into his room to convert his sinning soul. He had just come in from the bathroom at the end of the long passage when she followed him in and sat on the bed opening one scriptural passage after another as he removed his towel to dress up. The woman had hissed in contempt and asked one another. Must one use her body to depopulate the kingdom of hell? It is even against scriptural doctrines to play God when it is boldly written that only the Holy Spirit can convert a person, Christians are just to preach the word. She only covered up sin with another sin. But stamped in your memory is the radiant complacent smile she had on as she passed by you in the passage, said hello and gave you a pamphlet titled Paradise on earth.
A crowd gathered in front of Apostle Jude’s house as some policemen dragged him out. One of his brainwashed members in their custody had mentioned him. The barren woman had come out of the general bathroom where she helped pour away her neighbour’s baby bathwater drenched. The curious mother didn’t take the explanation of she mistakenly splashed some of the water on herself and raised an alarm. Apostle Jude said she only put last Sunday’s faith topic to use and opened his ever present bible to Isaiah 65:6.
Seek God while he can be found
Call on him while he is near.
The crowd did not allow him finish before they began shouting for the police to take him away and lock him up. When did he become God? Only last week an angry deacon had come to drag his daughter who moved in with him so that he could relay visions concerning her future partner to her immediately he received them.
Today, you watched the evening news and a video clip of that terrorist group in the North operating under the guise of Islam was shown in which a man was blindfolded and made to kneel. After making a threatening speech of wiping out the entire country, the man was swiftly beheaded. Nausea overwhelmed you as the red sea gushed out of his open neck like it was a human fountain. The excited beheader raised the bloody head to the sky and chanted “Allah Akbar!” repeatedly. It made you remember a time Mama stopped Mummy Nkechi on the road and ordered her to stop seeing Pretty Chioma’s fiancé. She had ended it with “God won’t forgive you. You will die and go to hell. Foolish sinner” with deep certainty in her voice as if mere saying it would make it so. When you got home, you asked Mama why humans have God in sips, a little at a time. Why he sat in heaven and allowed people act on his behalf. Why he showed his supremacy over humans, sometimes malevolently, sometimes benevolently that makes you wonder if there are variations of God. Mama had replied in her mysterious way with a smile.
“Water is a spirit, sickness is a spirit, money is a spirit, God is a spirit, you are a spirit. Nne, you are God’s representative on earth”.
Maria Oluwabukola Oni is a creative writer, social volunteer and training journalist. Also a great conversationalist, always brimming with adventures she sometimes writes down. She has published works offline and online; some on tushstories and allpoetry.