I can see her face. She’s sitting comfy in that spot she’s always seated but her mind is far from whatever is around her. Just as I’m looking at her now; in my mind, she sees me too. Worrying if I had enough rest the day before. If the mosquitoes haven’t bitten me too much, meaning to call and ask if I took care to notice symptoms. Heaving and hoping I’d have gone to the hospital for a checkup – maybe sometime soon. I can see her pick up her phone; my face on her mind, beautiful, so real she could almost touch it as she searches for my number.
That half smile; fondling the image. Thoughts; she pauses to think it for a second. Drops the phone, tries to get busy with anything. Saying to herself ‘Everything is fine. He would have called if it’s otherwise’. She knows as I’ve realized that our mind sees each other. It is ridiculous. I know this.
Many hidden sicknesses; even when we’re far apart, have been shared in silence. You know how you get sick but try to hide it from everyone – carrying on just fine. Silly. She knew those times too. Just the same way I knew when she tried to hide it. Last time I was damn sick; even as it looked impossible for me to move, all I could think of was how to get to her pronto. Seeing her is medicine in itself.
You know what’s funny? How she sits there many times thinking if there’s this girl or that girl loving me. If the feelings are real or I’m playing along. Beautiful speculation that calms and disturbs her at the same time; wondering if I’d ever bring it up. Shaking her head, almost sure I won’t do that. I am stubborn; I know it. Bet she’s proud of me in all of that.
Not sure I know what is love anymore… I’m just sitting here, looking at her face in my mind; quite sure she’s seeing me at the same moment too. I’ll just bask in that – forever.
*I haven’t written anything in a long while…this isn’t particularly about anything. This feeling came and I’m just trying to express it. I’m seeing my mother’s face by the way. I hope you enjoyed it. Express how you feel in the comment box and share.