Nigeria – The Movie

Only a very select few will agree that they found the series ‘Spartacus’ distasteful, particularly people who abhor nudity onscreen and uninhibited violence. However, very few will dish the plot of the series the same treatment for it tells the story of long-suffering and hopelessness, of freedom in chains and want, amidst plenty (Nigerians can relate).

The splendor of the rich and the nobility was infuriatingly aggravating…you almost wanted to … (let me just hold that thought). If you were born poor, it was your destiny. You couldn’t, shouldn’t fight it. And if you were among the servile class, the only thing that made you human were your thoughts, you couldn’t, shouldn’t feel. (I guess some Nigerians can still relate).

Nigerians have everything except the will to resist encroachment of their rightful space. The average Nigerian mindset is always “I can always climb the wall if I’ve previously been hugging it”. Hence, we all continue in fasting even when the problems do not require people on “diet”. Perception and orientation goes a long way in determining how we express ourselves or why do you think Americans are different from Arabs or Arabs from Nigerians? It lies not in the fact that Nigerians are “the happiest people on Earth” (shouldn’t God be the one to give this label? (Just saying!) But in the fact that when policies are inimical, Americans use their ‘democracy’ to get their desired results and the Arabs turn rainmakers and bring

‘Spring’ in ‘Fall’ while Nigerians hug their labels and cheer on by the sidelines.

‘Prayer is the key’ was a nice hymn I enjoyed as a kid but I think Nigerians took it too serious. But I think I glimpsed a verse that mentioned faith going along with works…maybe I’m wrong. So, I think Nigerians should ask themselves which God they’re praying to; the one who does all the laundry or the one who shines the Sun you spread your done laundry under.

As at 2010, Nigerian public officers (Legislators) were the highest paid in the world. I doubt any other country has equaled this “national” achievement presently.

NASS members were earning =N=240 million annually while House of Reps members were “barely surviving” with =N=214 million annually then. Need I mention that, the first citizen of the world was going home with =N=77 million yearly… (And no, he hasn’t asked for a raise yet!). Figures drive Nigerians crazy, but all we do is rant until memory fails us. I don’t fault Nigerian Legislators for getting that much for a closer look reveals that it’s systemic. They give so much before they get in that they have to grab so much before they get out.

Anti-same sex marriages, tenure elongation, deliberations on prostitution etc how do these put food on the table for the common Nigerian? I’ll answer you… (They don’t!).

Matters of security lapses abound, education is fast turning to chaos, unemployment and poverty are virtually competing in intensity, and entrepreneurship is not a funny joke anymore. And we are still on gay marriages? Homeland Security’s Subcommittee on Counterterrorism and Intelligence in the US held a sitting on November 30 where they deliberated on Boko Haram…shouldn’t we pay them for legislative services too?

I’ve studied Nigerian history to a point that all the textbook factors accounting for underdevelopment (Corruption, bad leadership etc) seem not to be the problems at all and I’m close to agreeing with a friend who says ‘Nigeria is cursed’ but that would mean we need more prayers, wouldn’t it?

We can raise colossal religious structures within months yet we complain of no industries and unemployment. We can’t afford to send our children to schools we helped to build in our churches and mosques but it’s alright, “heaven” is assured when you pay tithes and give offerings, I guess. We can fast and pray and do the same thing again till vision 2020 is replaced by vision 2030 or 2040 and we would still be getting the same results (I’m not clairvoyant, at all!).

I don’t claim to have any solutions but I think a way to start would be to alter our general view/orientation and to remunerate those who would impart such knowledge the highest (Teachers) not the legislators. What good can become of a nation without an enlightened mass? (Slavery, at most).

Spartacus is a classic series any day but the lessons therein are timeless. Now, fuel subsidy removal looms as well as ASUU strike, both which will have far reaching effects on our economy, socio-political history and perseverance as a people. Based on so many variables considered (Which I can’t go into now), I’ve concluded there will not be a “Spring” in Nigeria any time soon. Therefore, I won’t be surprised if

Nigerians just watch the movie again, pray and fast for a happy ending, cry when required, laugh for the most part and let amnesia do the rest…after all; it’s just a movie, isn’t it?